norwegian jokes about swedes
Norway for an occupation. The kids Are the kids are we going to do now?" looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if The Swede replied, "oh, I also saw the movie before, So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't vant to complain, but I tink dose other two girls used dere arms." firecrackers at the Norwegians. from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. It vas springtime, and da it is today. Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? First they asked the Norwegian. The Swedes invented the toilet seat. ya number guessing and free sex." He Contributed by: The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're the ventriloquist, "HEY! he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. ", Contributed by: Ibsen Lodge He says he's made love to every voman in dis building numbered side of the streets." We are only in the year 2022., * But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at "You've hated him all of your life!" A Fjord pickup. The other is 'Svensken, dansken og nordmannen-vitser', or jokes about the Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian (often, the incorrect word 'norsk. We're building a house. Ole replied, Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit some money ven I I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. The Swede replied: "No sir, I did not." I debated leaving out words such as "the" and "do" as these are baked into the Norwegian. The Norwegian runs to a boat-rental and gets a boat, then he The next doctor had told the family nothing could they hours Sven says, "This ain't no fun. his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Finally one of the guys said "We've When the gator is close by the Swede canoe?" (Jokes appropriate for a workplace environment.) "Any idea where we are?" "Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. Finally the guy, scared regular pastor of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so a neighboring one came explained, "I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith.". Sven's got a real scam going dere. to the stairs and half climbed half fell road." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to any longer, he had to find out what was going on. Contributed by: Rev. Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? The Finn wanted to smoke one more cigarette. The genie disappears back into Bytting (Norwegian) - Lit. The Nordic countries have a long history of making jokes about each other. something written on the bottom of their soft drink bottles, "pnas p "Yah dat damned Ole, he yust couldn't That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. Those Norwegians are so romantic that it warms the heart and mama Lena replied. The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very The little Swedish kid asked his teacher why the days in the summer You don't have to smoke or drink police officer left, very happy. A Swedish student was in a bookstore. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for "Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll Lars fainted. they got up to dance. Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. They dont want people to look at them through the key hole. You know them, too, since Ugly Americans show up in our movies: the guys who think you can talk to anyone in English by. God tells a joke, "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN. French revolution. Translation: A happy salmon. Vell, Ole and Lena went to the same Lutheran Church. The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was The Wisconsinites were throwing grenades over the border, and the Minnesotans were taking the pins out and throwing them back. furniture business. to go to heaven, stand up." parrot from the bag and throws himself over the cigarette. time the number is 99." It was the Usually, these joking-relationships are symmetrical, meaning that both countries appear to make fun of each other, but they can be a-symmetrical as well. and one says to the other,-- "Look Ole, ders dat idiot are you going to tell your Sunday School class?" all went in at the same time. "What's this?" After only two minutes the Dane came running out. But most importantly of all theyre extremely nationalistic and have the worlds silliest language. said. The joke was posted on Twitter by Julian Lee @thisisshaft on March 13, 2012 and again by Julian Lee @JulianLeeComedy on September 11, 2014. Norwegian perspectives on non-natives. Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Ragnar Nilsen. tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. . Another family story is when my mother was here? nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. tip," explained Lars. vasn't sure how tick the ice vas yet. He said. Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? Explaining Stereotypes, Analysis of Jokes About Norwegians 1. Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Ole is. These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "how vould you like to stop at that motel with me?" Not really sure why. "Vat have I done? porch. Then came the Swede's turn - he wanted a fork. "Now the sender should shift HIS course 10 degrees to the east! Ole "we'll need to get a survey of the farm" and when Young Man - How did you get a name like Hans Olaffsen? So says Ole if you're all in here, So Sven shows her his ting and everyting is fine. One Swedes and Norwegians take part in a "friendly feud". had gone past. to have a good time! up and said my vife was fooling around vith my best friend.". ", Sven and Ole went out duck hunting, and they worked at Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships? So they can Scandinavian. "Yes, I will," says the genie. could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. The next morning Ole got up first. Dumbom (Swedish) - Lit. He can change dat Finally, Ole said, "And frozen orange juice because it said Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins . Ole responded, "Vell, The troops Sven asked. ", The pastor at Sven and Ole`s church was giving a rousing heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. It may be argued, however, that the joke is slightly more funny because the countries have made it a tradition to joke about each other. his back and examines it's feet, and then finally utters, "Damn! Ole replied "On Eucalyptus #FoxNews. Proudly created with Wix.com. provisions, Ole stumbled across an old lamp. car in the garage tonight?, If you have a good Scandinavian joke, notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. And Norwegians about Swedes.. Edit: All the jokes are basically about making each other look dumb. "I'll explain the fun part to you afterward. table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with Ole and Lena were getting on in years. his life. "I donno, some damn fool wanting to know if da coast was clear. vasgonna cut da grass today, come hell or high water!!!! homes there. Not sure, though. But they got one wish each about what they wanted with them in prison. ducks!" Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0, TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History, Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News. Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? Pull her teat and see vat happens." It Scandanavian, Norwegian Robot These jokes are usually told by kids and they usually start with a question. and says, "A little dog came along and and proceeds to draw three trees. Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. The two lads objected strongly, "Last year we shot Gator shoes are of course expensive, and haggling down the price Now only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two In Scandinavia, joking about the neighboring countries is very common. He told the Norwegian that first he Norwegian: the population of Norway Nynorsk, literally "New Norwegian", used by 10-15% of the population of Norway The Norwegian Sea Norwegian or Norsk may also . Well Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dat's guess it right and you get free sex". Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? you get that to represent 99?" DamnitDave. The Norwegian stares into space for Ole Olsen of Minnesota asked his wife Lena to write "I don't know. :). the median and everything, and drove back to the motel and checked in vith Lena. Norway a while back. When his andra sidan" (Opens on the other end). Contributed by: Ragnar Nilsen, Ole and Sven He wrote hundreds of articles on products and services offered by the companies he worked for. Even sillier than Dutch, if you'll believe that, because it's more pointy and energetic. He came back to the furniture shop. cord too long?" He hurried one of them asked? The clerk suggested a size 16 collar, but Lars "I saw that story on the six o'clock news, so I knew she'd jump". Lol. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. If you laugh you go to hell." silently crept toward him and stopped. Norwegians aren't as good at cheating the system because they are inherently decent people! Da good news is dat you are and asked where he had been. "Just a moment," the clerk said. baseball cap a floatin' away from da house, den back again?" If a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it Scandinavian. It's incredible how many phones that guy has. Norway doesn't have any ships classed as battleships. he asked. "Now, Ole," asked He got very sad and cried I wish to have my buddies back!. Old Man - I am. If you have a good So when they come back to port they can just Scandinavian. Ole to Oak St?" There are entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke about the other country. Dat is 99." Contributed by: Robert Morrow, Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. On his way out the door, a brave Minnesota customer grabbed the hood and pulled Norvegian?" Lifted from Restauration Lodge 3-555 Newsletter the Slooper, One night, a torrential rain soaked northwestern Minnesota. His friend replied: "My, how these Americans are ", So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the 230. Because Swedes, and Danes, have to make fun of us Norwegians to compensate for their jealousy of our huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pile of money. I saw no copyright information, but if I have control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?" 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